Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt, Available in Various Sizes

"This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that's when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women. The women knew from the wolves on my shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to 'howl at the moon' from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give them money for something they called mehth. I told them no, because they didn't have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him.

I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt.

Pros: Fits my girthy frame, has wolves on it, attracts women
Cons: Only 3 wolves (could probably use a few more on the 'guns'), cannot see wolves when sitting with arms crossed, wolves would have been better if they glowed in the dark. "

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B000NZW3IY/metafilter-20/ref=nosi

Today I tried to dial the conference calling center that I've used for the past year and a half for work (I work from home).  Today, I try dialing in for a meeting, and I all I hear on the other end is, "Due to network difficulties, your call cannot be completed at this time.  Please try again later."  So, I had to dial in on my cell phone which gets crappy signal in my house.  I call Tech Support, they try number, and they get through.  My cell phone can get through, but my digital cable phone can't. WTF?  They better figure things out and fix it soon, otherwise I'll be switching to regular phone service.

I'm cancer-free!  No more pre-cancerous cervical cells!  It only took me 3 years, 2 surgeries, and a whole lot of stress and nervousness.  Last year though, a nurse told me that I can help my body combat the disease by eating right, exercising, all the stuff you're supposed to do anyway.  It made all the difference in the world.  I didn't feel helpless anymore, and I knew I could do something about it.  Now I'm healthier than I was before, and cancer free.  Woohoo!

why is this so ammusing?

Holy crap, this guy rox.

On a whim, I auditioned for a civic theater production of War of the Worlds (OTR version).  I made it to the callbacks, which are tonight.  Wish me luck!